Comments on: An Expat at Your Service

By: Julia C Taylor

Julia C Taylor — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:45:27 +0000

Gail,
Thanks again. I am amenable to individual emails. You can find my email on my “contact us” page.

Julia

By: Gail Wood

Gail Wood — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 16:41:37 +0000

Hi Julia,
Gail here again. Yes, those are some important issues you mention. We all end up giving a helping hand, and yes, the difficulty is figuring out where to put limits. I guess in the first few years we all go a bit too far (and stretch our own budgets) before we learn to say no. Right now, due to so many asking for help, we have decided to extend ourselves to mainly supporting my husband’s mom. It calls for some hard decisions, but it has to be done. There is one sister in law with 7 adult daughters. Before I met my husband, he sent down the money to her for the construction of her roof and a bathroom. Previously she had no roof nor functioning bathroom. She’s a really great cook and when she puts her mind to it, she does pretty well selling her food. But when she decides to take a vacation, she shuts down and goes to the beach for weeks with family she has over there. She is poor, but on the other hand she takes more vacations and seems to have less stress in her life than we do. Or at least she perceives said stress in a different way. So, when she comes up short and can’t buy propane, do we help her? No, because we have drawn our limits and learned to say no.
I’d love to communicate with you offline if you are amenable to that!
~~gail

By: Julia Taylor

Julia Taylor — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 19:29:45 +0000

Gail,

I’m glad you added your comment. You hit the nail right on the head.

Your comments made me think that it just affects people when their extended family is poor or exposed to difficult circumstances. With your partner you have to grapple with some heavy questions. Do you give money to the great uncle who can’t buy his medicines? How many cousins and nephews and especially nieces do you buy school supplies for so that they will continue in school? In the cases of nieces, how much do you pressure their families to keep the girls in school? Is it OK to stay at a “nice” hotel when your family doesn’t have running water? It’s a stretch to be sure.

Kindest Regards, Julia C Taylor

By: Gail Wood

Gail Wood — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 05:41:41 +0000

Hi Julia,
I am also married to a Mexican and I totally agree with you that living here in Mexico can often be harder (not easier) because our husbands are Mexican. Of course there are some advantages—my husband is a native Spanish speaker, he knows his own country and its culture and its people, etc. But on the other hand, sometimes I wish I had the somewhat simplified version of Sunny Mexico in my head that the retired expats have—they don’t know when they’ve been ripped off, they don’t know how to bargain, they don’t know when something is a scam, they’re like babes in the wilderness down here. And most of them are well-off (not all, but I would say most of them don’t hurt for money), and they are here by choice. They know they can go back to the US if they change their minds or if they just feel like shopping north of the border. All these things make a difference. I see Mexico through the eyes of my husband and it’s often not a pretty picture. His giant extended family and the vast majority of his friends are all poor people. That is the rule, not the exception, in Mexico. And the gap between rich and poor is growing deeper everyday. And the poor people don’t shop at Costco and Sam’s Club, and they don’t go to see movies at the local Cinepolis. They just manage to get by, day by day, and that’s about it. I would not call that paradise, far from it.

By: Julia Taylor

Julia Taylor — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 20:42:20 +0000

Hi Jessie,

I hope that it has not taken me too long to reply to you. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting a few days but I wanted to have time to give you a proper reply. I’m excited that my book has finally gotten into the hands of a spouse/partner of a Mexican present in the US illegally BEFORE they move to Mexico. I’m glad you have enjoyed the book! I know that retirees will benefit from it, but people like you and I NEED it.

To answer some of your questions, my husband was asked to leave the US for 10 years under section 212(a)(9)(C)(I) of the Immigration and Nationality Act, which “renders inadmissible those aliens who were previously unlawfully present in the United States for an aggregate period of more than one year who enter or attempt to re-enter the United States without being admitted [as in: he had gone home to visit his family and come back the only way he could]. These aliens are permanently inadmissible, however, after they have been outside the United States for at least 10 years [emphasis mine], they may seek consent to reapply for admission from the Attorney General” (source: http://www.shusterman.com/aos-up.html) Back then (it was 2001), we were some of the first people to fall under that section of the Act, which came into effect in 1997.

I learned during our experience that it’s best not to leave the US unless you are forced to leave because often it is easier to process that application for residence from inside the US. OR sometimes it’s easier to stay in the US illegally until there is a clear path for legalization, which can change according to the political climate. We, for example missed a pardon signed by Bill Clinton because we were in Mexico traveling!!! The pardon only applied to people who could prove they were in the US on a certain date. ARG!

Each person’s situation is different and the law is a bit complex, so you MUST have a good lawyer to help you determine the best way for your to proceed. Don’t leave the US until you know what you will be applying for and what the chances are of the application being accepted! I hope you two have a good lawyer.

The best lawyer we found worked for Catholic Charities [he is no longer a lawyer]. He was working to help people, not for the money, though some lawyers that charge more are also in it to help people. Just check on that. We spoke to three different lawyers and one of them made us all sorts of promises (that we desperately wanted to hear) that could NOT come true, so be careful.

Feel free to ask more questions. Chin up! If you do go to Mexico you will learn and grow so much!

Kindest Regards,

Julia C Taylor

By: Jessie Vasquez

Jessie Vasquez — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:02:27 +0000

Hi Julie, My name is Jessie, I have enjoyed your book so much, My husband was born in Cuernavaca, He is here in the Us illegally . We are planning to go to Cuernavaca to start the immigration proceddings. Im scared so scared. I was born in ohio, we are in chicago now im sure life there will be so different..i hope its only temporary. So i wanted to ask you are you there so long because of the immigration? Is that the length of the pardon he was given? Can you please e mal me back [email removed for privacy].

By: Julia Taylor

Julia Taylor — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 00:31:55 +0000

Norma,

Thank YOU for your comment. Enjoy.

Julia C Taylor

By: Norma

Norma — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:40:07 +0000

Just found your website and am ecstatic. I’ve lived on and off in Mexico but my heart is there. Thanks for the time you have spent preparting this site, cannot wait to get into it over the next days.

By: Julia Taylor

Julia Taylor — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 02:22:10 +0000

Dora,

Thank you so much.

Julia C Taylor

By: DoratheExplorer

DoratheExplorer — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:00:04 +0000

Julia,

I am grateful for your website for all its goodness and flaws alike. I see you have experienced discrimination here for expressing your experience and opinions. You are a writer. I appreciate your ability to get this website started. For someone to assume you are not qualified to write and publish online due to their own prejudice is complete horse shit. The internet provides that freedom internationally. Thank goodness that is the case. I value your experience and your ability to express it for readers who are interested in exploring a journey to living in Mexico. I am an US American of Mexican heritage. I was raised with Mexican parents that spoke to me in Spanish only but encouraged me to get all I can wherever I am. I have lived on both coasts in the US since birth but have frequently visited Mexico as my parents had planned to retire there (su madre patria). However,due to the poor medical system and inaccessibility to quality doctors and medicine, they have chosen to stay in the US. They have a home in Mexico that I will be planning to live in for one month. If I like my experience, I may just chose to stay there permanently. As you know, the US currently is suffering its economic crisis and political struggles. Not that Mexico does not suffer but its basically cheaper to live in mexico unemployed than in the US unemployed if you have saved. crime and scandal is at an all time high in the US… making it a very undesirable place to live for those who are native and foreigners alike. Anyway, I am rambling now but you know what…. that is freedom of speech and its great that the internet offers that internationally! So kudos to you and keep it up cuz I love it. I look forward to exploring Mexico for all the good it has to offer and considering remedies for its wounds and sores. Every time I go there, I can’t help but take off my blinders so to speak. You truly get to see people for who they are unless they are an actors or fakers I guess. Much of the superficial halo people place on themselves in the US is shed in Mexico… So, that said, I can’t wait to go back for a visit or maybe permanently… Time will tell.
Dora