I love what she has to say! She really communicates how narrow messages about “others” cause us to be blind to the realities of our similarities.

As I was working on the majority of articles for this web site I was in my own process of adjustment to culture shock. I gave (and still give) myself permission to have feelings about it. The only way I knew how to describe the experiences was with generalizations. If I had put hedge words into everything my web site would have been either too watered down to say anything or too bogged down and boring.

At the same time, I knew that much of my American audience was the victim of the “single story” as Chimamanda Adichie calls it. I was hoping to use my stories to teach them something about the realities. Hoping to be a model of adjustment — not because I was perfect, or even very good, but because I was willing to TRY, to really WORK AT IT. As I wrote I hoped that other Americans would be inspired to set aside their superior attitudes and join their new communities — even though the process is frustrating.

I had more stories from Mexico than most Americans — I wasn’t a victim of the single story, but was a victim of the poverty story. My introduction to Mexico came through people who were in serious-enough circumstances to immigrate illegally to the U.S. My images of Mexico were never those of a comfortable life and included a lot of struggle with class-ism.

I guess I mostly achieved my goal, but I’ll never know for sure.

I wish everyone would listen to Ms. Adichie’s speech!

Thank you for contributing something so important.

Kindest Regards,

Julia C Taylor

I read your article, and it came to my mind the speech that a Nigerian writer gave in a university. Her name is Chimamanda Adichie, and the speech was “the danger of a single story”.

http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

what do you think?

All the best

Hugon

Kindest Regards, Julia

We classifed or friends by trust, you know that someone can be trustful in different situation. For example I only go out to a club with people I know will pay they part. I only go make futbol team with people I know will go to the matches. I only borrow money to people who can pay back and that I am in contact with them often, like neigbours or co-worker.

You need to understand that the mexican culture is different of the American or Canadian by the fact of how it was constructed this country, while you were colonizer (killing all the native people) Spaniards were conqueror, abusing the indigeneus and slavering. The Mexican culture is very traumatized by this so they have a culture of abusing others and never let them self abuse.

In a country for example like Germany if someone abuse the system, the circle of friend will be ashame of him or her, but in Mexico if you abuse the system or other the people is proud.

I believe you can see this behavior in the way they drive, they will never let other to pass before them, because if you do it other will thing you are a idiot instead of a nice guy.

If you want to trutly understand this phenomenal I recommend you the book of Octavio Paz “El laberinto de la Soledad” he write it when we was living in Paris and understood more about tthe way we behave.

I think it’s interesting that this description made sense to you — as a Mexican with a very interesting background. Thanks for sharing. I love the way your names tell such an interesting story!

Also… I just came to these conclusions on my own, so they aren’t necessarily true for everyone.

Kindest Regards,

Julia C Taylor

Me and my husband are Mexican. My first name happens to be in Italian, but my dad and all his family were refugees from Catalonia (Spanish Civil War), although the surname itself doesn´t seem to ba Catalan. My German surname (Zierold) comes from a great-grandfather, and my husband´s surname( Turnbull) from a Scot who came as a train engineer in Don Porfirio´s time. A large part from both our families came quite recently from different regions of Spain ( Plaza, Reyes, Montes ). I might have some native ancestors from Michoacán and Chihuahua, but I don´t know much about them.

I have always felt I don´t completely understand other Mexicans, and I don´t feel like I belong sometimes. I´ve also had to learn about favors and other stuff the hard way. I felt more at home when we lived in England for 4 years! This is a real eye opener. Maybe I hadn´t wanted to aknowledge that my relatives, my husband, my in-laws and myself aren´t really as “Mexican” as I had always wanted to consider myself and them. Gracias

Thank you for your most interesting comment.

I hope I’ve explained the “system” well enough. It’s hard to describe culture accurately because every individual and every part of Mexico is different, but I guess my own experiences are a good start.

I’ve wondered the same as you about favor-networks operating whenever money is scarce among a group of people. Hunter-gatherer societies have similar systems.

Enjoy Mexico and I’m sure you’ll do great at building your own “favor network.”

Regards, Julia Taylor

I wonder if this system isn’t common in many cultures where no one has enough money to simply pay for whatever they need, but everyone has to rely on friends/neighbors for various favors. Maybe it’s our standard American culture that is unusual, in the grand scheme of things.

I’m hoping to retire to Mexico later this year, and I’ll certainly want to be part of the “favor network” – thanks for explaining how it works!

I’ve considered removing this page, but I keep it up because I do think that it does have validity. I just used one of the many examples I could have written about — and not just from my experience, but from other people’s experiences, too. Of course, the U.S. is full of problems, difficult people, users, and abusers as well as wonderful people. I’m glad you had mostly good experiences during your 23 years of experience there. This page is just a tiny bit of all the varied truth that is out there and I know that, and I hope that my readers do too.

For what it’s worth, I told in my example about how my neighbor gave us two whole days of her support. That’s a rare thing in the U.S. and not so rare in Mexico. Also, I claim responsibility for having to remember what she did for us. That was an understated way of saying that I can’t be a money-focused, selfish American and appreciate the support I’ve gotten from that one example of a relationship.

If you were going to write a guide book for Mexicans who were going to live in the U.S. would you only put up the good stuff or would you also include some things about how to identify and avoid the problems? For example, maybe you might warn Mexicans about racism and how to figure out who’s a “closet racist” who will speak nicely to your face, but stab you in the back. (And, see, that’s worse than what I put up here, but it needs to be said about living in the U.S.)

I’m sorry my example bothered you. Maybe you could add more here about how you do get people to pay you back because I’ve heard a loooooot of people in Mexico talk about how so-and-so owes them and they don’t want to ask for the money back, etc., etc. Notice the first comment on this page from the American who says I’m too “easy” on the Mexican culture. Funny. I’m somewhere in the middle, I guess.

Sincerely, Julia Taylor