When You Retire in Mexico You Probably Won’t Be Eating Out on New Year’s Eve but You May be Wearing Red Underwear

I have red underwear on. No, I don’t usually tell my readers about my underwear, but today this is a culturally significant detail. On New Year’s Eve many Mexicans wear colored underwear to bring them luck in the upcoming year. Red is for more love in the next year (I’m hoping that one pair of underwear per couple is enough because my spouse opted out of the underwear thing this year!), yellow for more money, and white is for something that I’ve forgotten. The underwear is supposed to be new according to one of my neighbors, but mine is “just like new” because I haven’t worn them since last December 31st (Now you know what color my underwear is not on any given day throughout the year.) so I figure that 99% of the luck is still in them.

We will go to our neighbor’s house after his daughter arrives from mass which was given at 9 p.m. in my neighborhood, but is at midnight at many churches. She has grapes so that we can pop 12 grapes, one for each month of the upcoming year, into our mouths making wishes as fast as we can. My suitcase is out and ready to go. Right after we pop the grapes into our mouths we will take our suitcases to the end of the street and back so that we can travel a lot in 2008. Other neighbors will be out doing the same thing and this will be our chance to tell them Happy New Year and even give them their New Year’s hugs.

We saw on the news that in some places people make a stuffed person - - kind of like a scarecrow, and burn him to represent the year that is gone. My husband remembered this tradition from his childhood but no one that we know in Cuernavaca is doing it. I guess we can imagine why.

We’ve had one big adventure this evening in which we could not buy a pizza, nor fried chicken, but did get some expensive sweet bread. At 8:15ish we went out to get a delicious pizza from Costco (hey, we are in Mexico, that’s where it’s good) and found it locked up tight. We saw lots of cars parked in the nearby Mega grocery store, owned by the same franchise and went to see if they were still open. One of our neighbors had told us as we were leaving that we were probably too late because the grocery stores were going to close at 8:00 p.m. We sat in the truck and watched two young men saunter side by side to the automatic sliding glass doors. Would they get in? Would they get in? …NOPE! They stopped short, noses near the unmoving glass panels. They looked around, looked forlornly inside the store and were forced to turn around. Soon after, another man hurried up to the door, almost banging into it when it didn’t open. He did the universal Mexican downward arm gesture for “¡Chin!” (which loosely translates as Darn!) and stomped off. We rolled out of the parking lot amid a stream of unsuspecting shoppers who were also arriving too late.

We thought maybe Dominos. It’s not our favorite pizza here in Cuernavaca, but we had to have something to take with us to the neighbors! Closed. In fact, the only place that was open on the usually busy street we drove up was Kentucky Fried Chicken. That seemed like an appropriate thing to bring to a get together so we pulled in. The line almost stretched out the door. The parking lot attendant told us that he was full and helped us find a place to wait for a spot to open up. There were families hanging out in the parking lot. We got out of the truck and went inside but we only saw people coming in. No one was going out.

I remembered that the fancy sweet bread store, Globo, had been open on Christmas Day when other places were closed so we went there and at long last had something to bring with us when we go tonight!

What’s the lesson in this? When you retire in Mexico, make sure you have all of your New Year’s Eve supplies well in advance.

Happy New Year!

This evening as I was slicing and sauteing some mushrooms that my husband and I bought in the market we started to talk about the stand where we had purchased the mushrooms. My husband ended up putting something into words that I hadn’t put together as well. It seemed like a great tip for everyone who lives or retires in Mexico so I decided to pass it on in my blog.

While it’s not true in many markets throughout Mexico, the market in Cuernavaca is a hotbed of rigged scales and cheating. When we first moved here we would sometimes complain to the vendors about their scales but they would always defend their ways and we would have to walk away from the foods we were about to buy. Now, as time has gone on we have found some stands at which we shop regularly. As a regular customer many vendors will treat you better than as a first time buyer.

My husband and I have gone around this many times. It seems backwards. It would make more sense to treat new customers fairly so that they return to your stand, but that’s not the thinking here. The mentality here seems to be that you should make as much as you can on a stranger. Then when you recognize someone and know that they come often, weigh things correctly and give correctly rounded prices for the weight.

So, here is the conclusion: become a regular customer when you retire in Mexico. Be polite and friendly and come back to the same person. You can very subtly demonstrate that you are calculating what the price should be to help them along, but the operative word there is subtly. Hopefully they will remember you (this won’t be so hard since you are a foreigner and relatively memorable) and start to weigh you foods correctly and do the math correctly. Give them a few weeks to a couple of months and see how they do. It is important to do the math in your head quickly. This is something my husband is better at than I am. For example, if you see 400 grams on the scale and the price is 23 pesos a kilo the cost for the food should be 9 pesos and 20 cents (properly rounded up to 50 cents) not 11.50, which would be the price for 1/2 a kilo and not 11 pesos, which is just cheating.

If you aren’t very good at doing math in your head another “trick” you can use when you retire in Mexico is to find vendors who use electric scales and set them up where you can easily see the weight and price that they enter into it. Many markets will have all electric scales, but like I said, not so in Cuernavaca.

I guess we all know that Christmas gifts create suspense and fun at Christmas time, but I don’t think we see gifts as entirely a good thing. We tend to get frustrated with the way they seem to take over Christmas; the way they seem to create such a focus on being materialistic. First, you have to get out to purchase the gifts. This can take hours - - days really. Then you have to wrap them. Timing is important because you’ve got to purchase and wrap some gifts for loved ones far away in order to mail them off in time. You spend time standing in line waiting to spend even more money on postage! Then there are those people that you either want to or have to give a gift, but can’t for the life of you figure out what to give them.

Admit it. You’ve probably dreamed of a gift-less Christmas. This dream lasts a few minutes until you think about how people might take it wrong if you suddenly cease and desist. How might you feel when others give you gifts and you lamely explain, “I wanted to try a non-materialistic Christmas this year so I have nothing for you… but thanks for the loot.” To solve that problem you could send out a letter in advance announcing your intent. Maybe you could suggest donations to a particular charity in your honor… No. That ends up being even more materialistic because it implies an obligation that is usually left completely unspoken in our culture. It’s about here that most of us give up and get back to making our lists and checking them twice.

Well, We’ve done a number of gift-free Christmases now that we live in Mexico and I can tell you what it’s like not to give gifts at Christmas. It’s boring. On Christmas Eve there is no suspense. On Christmas morning there is nothing to do except eat breakfast. There aren’t any new toys to play with all day. In the days leading up to Christmas there’s no sneaking around and hiding things. There’s no wrapping gifts, carefully sticking tape down. There’s no curling of ribbon and no writing of gift labels. Christmas feels like Independence Day or Saint Patrick’s day or Labor Day.

This year I thought it through again. First of all, Christmas is supposed to be a spiritual celebration. Second of all, our son isn’t even two yet. What does he know? He’s already got so many toys we can’t stack them all up on his shelf to clean the floor. Not to mention that money is tight and consumer goods expensive in Mexico. I don’t need anything. My husband doesn’t need anything. Besides, if we got a gift we don’t have any place to put it. Our closet-less house is already driving us nuts and we are continuously trying to find things to get rid of to create more room. So, I just didn’t do gifts. My husband, who grew up without gifts of any kind (it wasn’t his religion, it was poverty), didn’t even notice. In fact, gift exchanges drive him more than nuts because he has no practice at giving and receiving gifts and he either feels inadequate or unworthy or both.

Still, what was one of the most fun moments for us after all? The moment when I found the toy that my mom had sent down with me after Thanksgiving to give to my son for Christmas. I had stashed it away to save for Christmas then forgotten about it. We all played with it for hours and had a lot of fun. He’d already played with it at Thanksgiving, but he wasn’t complaining. He didn’t miss the wrapping paper because he’s never seen a wrapped gift in his life. He just liked the newness and having us play with him. We also enjoyed the few small things sent down by my aunts.

Living in Mexico is helping me to appreciate my materialistic Christmas traditions after all.

So, last night I called my extended family up on the phone to wish them a Merry Christmas. They were in the U.S. and had just eaten a turkey with the works (complaining a lot about how full they were!) They told me that after they digested the turkey a bit they were going to eat home-made pies.

I got to thinking about those pies. I thought, “I’ve done my Mexican bit. I’ve eaten romeritos and bacalau. I’ve survived without Christmas cookies, without fudge, without gingerbread, without pie…. pie… pie.” I was picturing home-made apple pie. The kind made with cinnamon and a dash of lemon juice.

I asked my husband to take me out to buy pie. I knew it wouldn’t be as good as home-made, but at least I could have some. First we stopped at a sweetbread bakery chain. I went in by myself, reading the “yes, we’ll be open on the 25th” sign on the door without comprehending that that was foreshadowing for the rest of my search for pie that night. I grabbed a tray and some tongs and began to cruise the almost empty shelves. I made it to the cake cooler and didn’t see any pies. I asked about pie but the lady working there told me that they don’t do pie, but do have cheese cake.

I can’t eat dairy products, so that was out. I considered the cakes, but they all looked loaded with milk and cream. I considered other options, looking at the overpriced, flavorless looking Christmas cookies in cute little cellophane baggies, but decided not to settle. I headed out the door and we drove off in search of more options.

Everything was closed. Entire grocery stores were closed: locked up and completely dark. A restaurant that also makes its own baked goods was closed. Some restaurants and taco stands were open, but none that sold breads or pies.

We thought that at least it meant that all those people who work in stores for so little money were at home with their families enjoying Christmas (though, surely not eating pie) and we felt happy for them. I’m still pie-less this Christmas because I just don’t feel like making it myself.

Next year for Christmas I think I want to be in Oaxaca to see the radish festival. We were just watching the tourism section on the news and saw that in Oaxaca they have a festival for which people make figures out of radishes and they are something else!

Cow’s pulling carts and people with detailed clothing are two of the things I saw. You know how each radish has it’s own character? Apparently in Oaxaca they have some long skinny radishes that really have character.

Also on the same section they featured Los Cabos. We saw a shot of the tree at the delegacion and it appears to be back up and looking great.

This year Cuernavaca is not sporting a Coca-cola Christmas tree in the zocalo. I’m so glad. Talk about commercializing Christmas. This year’s tree was sponsored by the government and has important key words on the balls, such as “employment,” “freedom,” “clarity” (as opposed to corruption), and “love.” I guess they didn’t want to be subtle about their sponsorship.

I will not complain about the wide horizontal stripes of blue lights and the strobe light stars on the tree in addition to the government propaganda keywords. My husband declared that he liked it. I will just say that when I used to have a Christmas tree in my house, it had a much more lacey look to it. The fence around the base of the tree is downright classy with “greenery” garlands, glowing with small, crystal-looking white lights, tastefully placed randomly among the branches of the greenery.

In addition to the tree, there are two nice nativity scenes on display. One classy traditional one in the doorway of the government palace and one large one near the tree. No baby Jesus yet. It’s too Catholic in this town for him to appear until he is supposed to.

I was hoping there might be Christmas music, but not tonight (the night before Christmas Eve). Maybe tomorrow.

Other Christmas tree news:

While in Cabo San Lucas we enjoyed the park near the delegacion with its huge tree, decorated in a more traditional style than the one in Cuernavaca, stage freshly painted with night sky blue and stars, and gazebo also freshly painted and tastefully decorated with lights and garlands. We were lucky to catch the lighting ceremony, by pure chance and heard school children and professional artists performing on the stage on more than one night. Our friends tell us that during the sudden and unusual rain storm that we had on the night of the 9th (I think) the tree was knocked down! Large amounts of money and effort are being invested in getting the tree back up for Christmas.

When you retire in Mexico I hope that you can have the kind of dental experience that I just had. A filling chipped about a month ago and I procrastinated about making an appointment until the area hurt when I ate a candy at a posada. I called on Thursday and my dentist’s assistant made the appointment for me the next day! In fact, I could have gone in later that day, if my schedule would have allowed it.
My dentist is in my neighborhood so I walked the five minutes it takes to get to his office. I walked in the door and sat right down in the dental chair. He greeted me warmly by name. He checked my filling and saw that it had chipped. After exploring for caries he found none and proceeded to fix the filling. My entire appointment took 25 minutes; I kid you not.

Just before I left he personally scheduled my next appointment for a cleaning — the very next day (today).  Today’s cleaning went equally as smoothly. He does all the work himself, having his assistant lay out the items for him as he is looking at his patient’s teeth.

To top it all off, he speaks English, so if I need him to clarify something he can tell me the English word for something. He is also trained in prosthetics and braces so he really knows his teeth.

While, the prices he charges are reasonable for me with my limited income in pesos, for you, if you were to retire in Mexico, they would be an absolute bargain. The filling cost 450 pesos (around 45 U.S. dollars). The cleaning cost 300 pesos (around 30 U.S. dollars).

Don’t you just want to live in Mexico now?

When some of my family members were visiting us they were commenting on the way to say “mamá” in Spanish.

My son was just learning to talk but he already knew how to say “mamá” in a very demanding way; like this: MaMAAA.  Well, you could expect it from someone under 13 years old, right? According to them, they heard a full grown man in his 40s shout, “!MaMAAA!” in a parkinglot.

This story wasn’t blog worthy until yesterday when my son and I were out for our semi-daily walk. Someone on our route has a parrot who can talk. Yesterday it was shouting, “!MaMAAA!” over and over.

Those of you who have already retired in Mexico will know about the unsightly unfinished details that plague homes in Mexico. Let’s face it. Bare light bulbs are depressing. While there is no hope for what I euphemistically call our “cottage,” some homes and apartments do come close to being finished and just need a little help. One of my friends lives in such a place and she has given me permission to pass her simple, inexpensive home decor solutions on to you so that when you retire in Mexico you will feel more at home in your first residence.

Home Decor Tricks for Those Who Retire in Mexico

1.

We’ll start with the most common and most obvious problem: Bare light bulbs. They are so depressing and it’s not necessary to spend years in Mexico, slowly becoming desensitized to how terrible they look. My friend’s solution? Buy fancy paper called amate at the stationary store and roll and glue it into tubes, then glue loops of natural looking twine onto one end to hang it over the bulb. The sheets cost around 30 pesos a piece which, as she says, is quite reasonable for a lamp shade. She sometimes had to improvise with dental floss to attach the shade to the base that the bulb screws into.

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2.

Let’s continue with a problem closely related to that of the bare bulbs. Bare wires sticking out of walls or ceilings where a light bulb or switch was intended, but has never been installed. My “cottage” has tons of these, but as I said there is no hope that my home will ever look finished. In my friend’s case her ceiling was white, so she cut out rounds of white foami (a soft, flexible foam sold in sheets in stationary stores to be used for art projects) and glued those over the unsightly wires. _____________________________________________________________

3.

The electrical breaker box is mounted right in the middle of the most visible wall in my friend’s apartment. Can you see where it is? _____________________________________________________________
No. You have to look for it because she has covered it up with a color-coordinating table runner made of stiff fabric. The edges are tacked down so that if needed the cloth can be peeled back to allow access to the breaker box. _____________________________________________________________

4.

When you first retire in Mexico you often need to get some privacy covering on windows for which curtains aren’t the best option. (You’re going to move again soon, you don’t have a way to sew them, there is no way to easily mount a curtain rod, you don’t have the money for curtains yet, you don’t have time to get curtains made, etc.) In my friend’s case, her apartment is on the ground floor of a small, well kept apartment building in a neighborhood where there is a housing shortage. People would come, peek in the windows, then knock on the door several times a day asking for information about renting in the building.

My friend’s solution is to cut squares of tissue paper, glue them onto a large sheet of white tissue paper and tape this into the windows she wishes to cover. It gives a stained glass effect that lets light in.
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5.

In her bathroom she used the same trick to add some color and hide ugly paint marks in the shower window. (There is another classic problem in Mexican rental housing - - paint splattered everywhere. Nobody ever seems to use a drop cloth or to mask windows.)

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6.

Q: What is the shell covering on the bathroom wall above the mirror? _____________________________________________________________

A: A rusty nail! _____________________________________________________________

7.

My friend used masking tape and lighter colored paints on a darker background to create a tile-effect on the wall behind her stove. The paint helps disguise splatters. _____________________________________________________________

8.

Here my friend has hung manta (unbleached, cotton) over the bricks surrounding her back patio. The manta provides a calming privacy screen. _____________________________________________________________

9.

If you do feel like making curtains, ribbon tabs look nice, slide well on the curtain rod, and are easy to attach to the curtain material by hand. _____________________________________________________________

10.

What is the problem my friend hasn’t yet been able to solve? Lumps of cement stuck on top of the floor tiles from sloppy work when the wall tiles were laid. I wish she did have a trick for this one because my cottage has a lot of this unsightly unfinished effect. When you retire in Mexico, if you figure out a solution for this one, please send me an email and tell me how you did it.

Note: Use your own discretion as to the safety of any of these tricks that you choose to employ. For example, be sure that the paper covering the light bulbs can’t become hot and catch on fire. In no event will we be liable for any loss or damage including without limitation, indirect or consequential loss or damage, or any loss or damage whatsoever arising from loss of property, health, data or profits arising out of or in connection with the use of this web site.

Back to the Snakes in the Banks

Living in Mexico you often see country people traveling standing up in the back of large trucks. I often wonder how often accidents happen and what happens to the people. Sometimes they die. I guess in my head I already knew that it had to be true, but my heart didn’t want to believe it.

Today on the news we saw that over 100 people, some of them children, many of them parents were killed when a truck that was transporting them from their town in Puebla to Veracruz overturned. The driver took a curve too fast.

Today hundreds of caskets were unloaded from a semi and carried through town and up a hill to the cemetary. There was a line of caskets as far down the hill as the news camera could capture with thousands of people accompanying them. What an increadible blow to that community.

May God bless them and care for them all. All the children who have lost their parents, the mothers and fathers who have lost their children and are now raising their grandchildren, the sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles. Oh my how poverty is expensive.