home-sweet-mexico.com

Members of 4 generations of my family took a walk yesterday and we saw others out and about our neighborhood. We all said “hi.” Now I know that it’s not a ghost town after all.

I shocked the staff at the local Mexican restaurant today by speaking to them in Spanish. They seemed to like it, but couldn’t quite get the surprised looks off of their faces. I think they were waiting for me to get to the end of my reperotoir in Spanish and have to switch to English. Surprise, surprise I can go from ordering to requesting forks to appologizing for the mess my son has made–all in Spanish.

One person knew my family because they are regular customers at the restaurant and she asked where I lived in Mexico. It was good to get that cleared up.

I’m on vacation and home-sweet-mexico.com is going to take advantage of this to look at Mexico from the outside and the U.S. from the inside. I want to get a sense of how living in Mexico changes one for the better.

The first things that I revel in upon arriving in the U.S. are the bathrooms. In the airport I was struck by the complete lack of stench in the bathrooms. Where does that smell come from in Mexican bathrooms? Even the clean ones have some kind of odor.

Enough about bathrooms! It is my job as a blogger to get beyond the obvious and push the discussion of life in Mexico to something that will benefit humanity, to something that will help us celebrate diversity and actually become better people thanks to our intercultural experiences.

Mexican Resident Walks Ghost Town in U.S.

I’m visiting family in a quiet, 60-year-old suburban neighborhood in the Pacific Northwest. Yesterday we went on a stroll and I was almost swept away by the space and quietness. The roads are wide. The sidewalks are smooth and clear. There was limited car traffic and you could hold a conversation in conversational tones. There are ramps on the curbs so everyone, from babies in strollers, to kids on bikes, to people in wheelchairs can move easily from place to place. The yards are lush, with flower gardens and beautiful trees—but no one was in them..

It was sunny yesterday and there was a gentle breeze; it wasn’t hot, it wasn’t cold. You could not have dreamed of a more perfect environment for a walk or a chat. (Chatting is a major pastime in Mexico and I like it.) And nobody was out there enjoying it! After an hour of strolling around I started to feel as if I was moving through a ghost town.

At the neighborhood elementary school I strolled past the windows to classrooms, empty for summer vacation. On each window was a laminated sheet of paper declaring the room number in a large, clear font. Suddenly it hit me why those were there. In an emergency someone from the outside might need to know the room number. I remembered the emergencies that had taught school staff and first responders that that information might be needed. For a moment I almost cried that children in that school were being protected in case a blood bath might happen.

Three kids were playing with skateboards and bicycles. I approached them because my son likes to say hi to other kids. In Mexico we have learned that kids tend to stop playing and come touch younger kids, saying hi to them and giggling a little. They were all under 14, probably brothers, and one of them was cussing up a blue streak—oh well, my son had heard those words before. I wondered how such little people could have soaked up so much anger. For a moment I pictured the home life that could have caused them to seem prickly from 50 yards away and felt frightened.

Only one of them even looked at me as we passed by. I said hi and he just stared. Just 4 days ago we had been in a park in Mexico and three brothers had gone by with skateboards. Two had said hi and the oldest had stopped to give my son a ball that was rolling around. What a sad contrast.

The chains on the tetherball posts clanged in the breeze and the basketball hoops stood like lone trees in a desert. Not a desert created by a lack of rain, but a lack of people. 4 hoops. I wondered if those hoops had ever seen a pick up game. For pick up games to happen lots of people have to arrive at the basketball court at about the same time of day. In Mexico hoops like that would have been busy all weekend. I made a mental note to go check out how things are at the basketball hoops this weekend. Collectively we have enough money to set up hoops at our neighborhood school, but are we too busy working to enjoy them? I hope to find people enjoying the hoops that our wealth has provided.
If I lived here, could I create an environment in which a pickup game could happen? What if I were to post signs on the school yard fence declaring that there would be a pick up game at a certain time and day? Would that work or would people be too busy and forget to come?

I saw one man throwing a ball for his two, well-trained dogs. As typical Americans we never said hi to each other (I was feeling discouraged after the kid who had stared at me), just exchanged those half smiles that say, “I want to smile and say hi, but I’m too shy to do it.” The man spoke to me then turned his attention to his dog who had lain down in the shade. I wandered away without saying goodbye because I had forgotten how to say goodbye to Americans to whom I’d never said hello to and who weren’t looking anyway. Mexicans are looking at you and it’s easier to say goodbye.

So one lesson white Americans can learn from Mexicans is that we shouldn’t be too shy. Go ahead and say hi. Go ahead and say goodbye. Even if people are taken off guard the first time, the next time they see you, they’ll surely remember you and say hi.

When you live or retire in Mexico be prepared to let the weather run your life. You usually don’t notice how closely life is tied to the weather, even in Mexico, because the weather is usually sunny, but let the weather change a bit and you really feel it. It’s a nice thing about living or retiring in Mexico that you might not think of while you are making your plans to move to Mexico. Because our climate is generally more extreme in the U.S. and Canada than it is in Mexico, we have to have houses with heating systems and insulation. We have ample electricity that is rarely cut off due to storms or other events. Our water is heated in our houses and runs through insulated pipes. All of this conspires to keep us isolated from the weather and we loose touch with the turning of the seasons. When you live or retire in Mexico, hopefully you will have enough money to live in a comfortable house that has some of these same conveniences, but even if you do, I think you will notice the effects of the weather on your life more strongly than you do up north.

Here’s how you might find that the weather affects your laundry plans when you live or retire in Mexico: 

Laundry is commonly done outside in Mexico, which, provided that you have  a shaded are in which to work, is really pleasant. The only problem comes when it rains. If it rains no laundry gets done. Sometimes we have storms of three days, so for three days, we can’t wash anything. Since there is no heat in the house, things that are wet stay wet. Dish rags and bathroom hand towels get smelly in the laundry basket or look sad and droopy hanging on the clothes line for days. Heaven forefend that you have a load of laundry to hang up when the storm starts. Then you have to figure out how to hang the items in your house and hope they will dry before they smell like mildew. Short term weather forecasting becomes part of the laundry process during the rainy season when you live or retire in Mexico.

Here’s how you might change your showering schedule when you live or retire in Mexico: 

The weather also controls showers. When it’s hot it’s best to shower in the afternoon, which is something that retired people can really take advantage of since they don’t have to be at work. It’s deliciously refreshing to remove the day’s sweat from your body then put on clean, dry clothes. The timing of the shower is important because if you take it late enough to catch the cooling trend in the afternoon or evening, you can stay fresh until the next day. When it’s cold, you again take your showers in the afternoon when it’s warmest. In the morning you might just get chilled and in the evening your wet hair could cause problems by not drying soon enough before you go to bed.

Hopefully you are pleasantly surprised by these two ways in which you can reconnect with the earth and its processes when you live or retire in Mexico.

When you move to Mexico you might be surprised that you can’t just put your garbage can out on the street and have it picked up. In most places in Mexico you have to personally take your garbage to the garbage truck when it comes by. For this reason someone on the garbage collection crew rings a bell, loudly informing people that they need to gather their garbage and come out to dispose of it.

Each city is different, but that’s the general plan. A second option is to take your garbage in a personal vehicle–if you have one–and throw it away in a dumpster. In Cuernavaca our garbage collection was relatively random as far as day and time of collection was concerned. Then we began to have major problems with garbage–and if you live here you’ll know that that is an understatement. As part of these problems garbage collection became even more sporadic and quite infrequent. In our family we survived the crunch by having my husband take it to a dumpster on his way to work.

Suddenly the city had the problem resolved. A new company began to take over garbage collection in the neighborhoods. Much to our dismay they removed the dumpsters all over the city. It became my job to listen for the garbage truck and run out to throw the garbage away. No easy feat with a toddler in the house! I was getting quite wound up about the whole thing because the new bells were quieter and I couldn’t hear the truck until it was already in my street, giving me all of 60 seconds to get my son in the stroller, the gate unlocked, and charge out, garbage in one hand, stroller handle in the other. What if we were in the middle of a diaper change?

Well I stressed and groused and asked a neighbor to shout at me when he heard the truck working its way through our neighborhood. He told me he heard the truck and I’d come out and the truck would either have already left or would take 20 more minutes to come. There I’d be, standing in the hot sun with my son and my garbage. As if that weren’t enough, sometimes I had to leave on garbage collection day and would have to leave my garbage with a neighbor. That’s when the solution began to form its self.

Apparently others were having the same problems I was. In fact, I’m sure they were because I saw people running and shouting to each other when the truck showed up. People in my neighborhood NEVER run and never shout. Everyone walks and speaks to eath other in conversational tones. Mexicans rarely make a show. People began to pile their garbage up at the bases of trees and posts in the morning of collection day. One day my neighbor helped me to take my garbage out and that’s what she did. She piled mine right on the pile. Later that day it was gone. I hadn’t even heard the truck!

Ahhhh. Relief. Now all I have to do is take my garbage out to the street in the morning on collection day.

It seems like it’s hard to change our lives. Doesn’t it always end up being the “same old same old?” I realized the other day, that since moving to Mexico 6 years ago, my life has changed in many small ways. In a lot of ways I’m closer to being the person I want to be. There’s nothing like moving to another country to make you try news ways of doing things and to make you experience new ways of seeing things.

A Focus on Emotional Health 

One example of this is that my concept of health has radically changed.  The change has come about through a series of gradual steps, so I didn’t notice until yesterday when a friend mentioned that an acquaintance had developed painful calcium deposits on his bones. I instantly thought of all the stress and anger in his life and jumped to the conclusion that if he were to reduce the stress in his life and increase the joy, the calcium deposits would probably melt away. My friend gave me a clinically-based series of possibilities about calcium fixation in the body. I realized that a few years ago I wouldn’t have been able to get beyond the clinical view point either. But why would his body fix too much calcium in the first place? Where was the lack of harmony coming from? Aparently my time in Mexico has allowed me to focus on my emotionial health.

The Ignore It/Deny It Health Care Method 

Another thing Mexico has taught me about health is that sometimes we fixate on it too much. Here in Mexico people can’t afford to be sick. They can’t afford the time off work; they can’t afford the cost of medications and doctor visits, so they just live with minor discomforts until they get used to them, they go away, or get so bad they have to deal with them. I’ve participated in this ignore-it/deny-it health care method and while it’s not healthy, it does make me less of a whiner.

A Broader Community of Friends 

I’ve had opportunities here in Mexico that I would not have had back in the U.S. Just being a “foreigner” makes me part of a community of people from all over the world. I have an Italian friend who is a silversmith and Reiki master, a Canadian friend, an American friend who knows all about early childhood development and teaching disabled children, and my Mexican friends tend to be world travelers. I took a dance course similar to pilates from a retired professional modern dancer and learned a lot about ballance, strength, coordination, and timing.

I’ve quit watching TV entirely and I read a much wider range of books than I used to. This being due to the fact that I read anything my family in the U.S. sends to me!

What has changed in your life lately? If you decide to work, live, or retire in Mexico you can count on your life changing in unexpectedly wonderful ways.

When you live or retire in Meixco it is important to either keep your expenses quite low by owning your own home, not owning a car, eating at home, and/or living in un-popular regions or to have a high enough income in dollars to fully cover the lifestyle you want to live. Mexico is famous as an inexpensive place to live, but if you can’t live or retire in dollars your limited earning power can make it feel very expensive.

For single people on an adventure it’s lovely to face the challenges of living on your earnings in Mexico. For retired people the lifestyle can be a real improvement over what you would have in the U.S. or Canada on the same pension, but to support a family can be more difficult. Currently, we are living on my husband’s income while I am a stay-at-home mom (my meager earnings from this web site are enough to keep me working on the project, but not enough to really improve our standard of living). I’m starting to understand parts of poverty mentality.

Here’s one way this poverty mentality is working on me: If I were to return to work, I’d increase my effort level greatly. I’d have to iron clothes, do hair dos, get up at a certain time in the morning, shower without fail, cook meals at night to prepare lunches, etc. If I were to run out of water or experience any other of the plethora of challenges that crop up in Mexico I wouldn’t have the time to deal with them calmly and patiently, not to mention my patience level with our little son. Since I’d be doing all of that for less than 1,000 U.S. dollars a month I just don’t get motivated to go out there an get my nose to the grindstone. It’s easier to just stay at home and try not to incurr any costs.

So I tell myself that I’m using my time wisely to lay the foundation for an illustrious career as an author.

My husband has a nice container garden going in our patio. A couple of his plants produce flowers that are preferred by both butterflies and hummingbirds. For about two months a little green hummingbird has been coming a few times a day to drink from one of his bushes. The bush is getting lanky and funny looking, but he hasn’t cut it because he knows that the little guy is depending on it for his daily rounds.

Yesterday I realized that I hadn’t seen the hummingbird in a few days. I mentioned it to my husband who told me that he’s been coming early in the morning, at about 6 a.m. — before I’m up! I guess I need to get up earlier to enjoy one of the benefits of living in Mexico.

Tianguis is a Nahua (Aztec) word for temporary market. Due to it’s Aztec roots, the word is most often used in central Mexico. We have lots of tianguis here in Cuernavaca. (The word is the same both plural and singular according to Wikipedia.) There is one that forms near el Centenario park on Sundays and my husband loves to go there just to look at the stuff. One day I took my camera along to practice discreetly getting shots of people being people.

After deleting the pictures of the back of my husband’s head, I had a few good ones. Here are some of the shots of regular people in Morelos just going about their business. I particularly like the one of the toddler in the walker guzzling pop.

Take a walk with us in the crowd. Feel the warmth of the hot sun on your head and shoulders.  Smell the tortillas heating on the comal. Watch the babies watching you from the safety of their parent’s arms. Experience the way the light changes color depending on the tarps overhead. Squeeze through the traffic jams of people going two different directions. Feel the heat and heavy smell of pork rinds deep fat frying in huge vats. Much a refreshing thick slice of cool jicama on a stick.

I took a long bus ride out to a friend’s house this morning. We passed one little store with its sign on the awning over the doorway. “Mini Poo” announced the awning. The store was closed so I couldn’t see what kind of little turds they sell.

Once you live or retire in Mexico and you are picking your house to buy or rent pay attention to the details of the water supply to your house. Often homes are set up with inadequate supplies of water. Most of us from the US and Canada are blessed by plentiful and relatively safe water delivered to our house 24/7, with pressure. This can create problems in our transition when we live or retire in Mexico because we are “water supply innocents.” [The photo is of a house in my neighborhood that has both an old-style asbestos water tank and a new plastic one.]

Since newbies don’t know how to foresee potential issues with water supply, it’s not until we are a few weeks into our new life in Mexico that we start to have PROBLEMS with water.

When you live or retire in Mexico, be sure to check that your new home has a tank on your roof to provide gravity-fed pressure to the toilette, shower, and sinks in your house. Make sure that you can fill that tank every day, either by direct pressure from city water (which should be turned on every day for a few hours–ask about that) or by a small pump over which you should have control. Finally, you should have a large underground cistern to store water in case the city doesn’t provide enough water for a few days.

We’ve been running out of water lately.

I’ll tell you part of my recent water saga in hopes that it will help you some day when you live or retire in Mexico. In Cuernavaca we are blessed by clean municipal water that some of my Mexican friends drink as is. While I can’t complain about the quality of the water delivered to my house almost daily by the city water department (SAPAC) the logistics of the water hookup created by my landlord are driving me crazy!

My house was once my landlord’s mother’s house and all the fixtures, etc. seem to be afterthoughts, slapped together with no planning. The water supply is shared from what used to be his factory next door. The water from the city comes through a meter next door. When I need to check to see whether the water is off or on I have to go out my gate, out our common gate, and unlock the large metal door to his neighboring property.

We have an old asbestos tank on top of our bathroom roof, which, when full provides water to our house. The problem is that there is no way of knowing if it’s full without climbing a ladder to the roof, lifting the lid and peeking in!

Two loads of laundry will empty my tank, so I try to only do laundry when the water is on to our street. This would be easy if the water were always on at the same time. It’s not. Some days they open the valve to our street at about 6 a.m. and I’m asleep and don’t hear it rushing in. If the tank fills up before I get up, I don’t know that the water is already on. Some days it comes at 1 p.m. or 3 p.m. Some days the pressure is lower than usual and only a trickle climbs up to my bathroom roof. Lately I keep running out!

All morning of the day after I run out of water, I spend spinning my wheels. I can’t flush the toilette. I can’t wash dishes. I can’t do laundry. I have to go outside to brush my teeth and wash my face because there is usually a little water still in my lavadero…. You can imagine the difficulties.

My landlord has a cistern, but since it’s next door and the pump is broken, it’s usually easier to wait for the water to be turned on to our street than to go walk buckets through the door next door, two gates, and my front door.

When you live or retire in Mexico, get yourself set up with a nice cistern and pump and make sure that you have easy access to them!